Memory Care

She stands in the middle of you three.

And each of you sees her and loves her still.

And now you remember her,

From that place where you now stand.

 

Each of you joined her

At a different point in her journey,

A different view into her soul.

In the stillness you see her and love her still.

 

You three watched her drift away into the stillness

Even when she forgot who she was

You picked up and carried the memories

Both for each of you and for her,

And she still remembered you in her own way,

As people who loved her still

And remembered for each of you and for her.

 

Still now, in the stillness,

The memory is a way of caring;

The memory is a way of carrying;

The caring is a way of remembering;

The carrying is a way of remembering.

 

So now you carry those memories still.

She stands in the middle of you three

And each of you sees her and loves her still,

In the stillness you see her and love her still.

 

                                    -Robert Elliott, Lodi, 6 October 2026

 

Note: Our friend Susan died a couple of weeks ago, from complications due to dementia. She was married to my childhood friend Sam. This poem is an attempt to capture the quality of quiet that developed out of her Alzheimer’s and the wake it left from her passing. It is addressed to the circle (or triangle more accurately) formed by the three people who knew her best: her twin, her daughter, and Sam.  At her memorial service we learned of a very different Susan: bright, playful, adventurous. We grieve both versions of her.