Sunday, September 01, 2019

ISEFT 2019 Glasgow

 Entry for 31 August

It was a rainy Friday night in Glasgow.  After the conference ended we said our good-byes and hurried home to get changed for the conference dinner.  It had been several years since I last wore my kilt, so it took me a while to sort out all the different bits; as a result we didn’t call the taxi until quarter to seven.  Bad idea!  It took almost exactly 45 minutes for the taxi to arrive.  Lorna had warned the staff at the Kelvingrove Museum that I was running late, so they were waiting for us just inside the backdoor to the place as we arrived.  We rushed in and upstairs, my not-fully-broken-in ghillie brogues clacking on the stone flagging.  I felt rather foolish and embarrassed for being so late to arrive at what was in effect my own party, and also for having forgotten an essential fact about taxi travel in Glasgow in busy Friday nights.  Lorna met us on the stairs, to direct us to our table.  Fortunately, she had held down the fort in my absence, done a welcome speech, and told the venue to start the dinner service.
The large atrium of the Kelvingrove Museum was full of tables, and the tables were full of most of the attendees of the Third Conference of the International Society for Emotion-Focused Therapy (ISEFT), finishing off their starter courses. Suddenly the room erupted in cheers.  It was overwhelming.  It turned out later that many of them had somehow gotten the impression that I had taken ill, so the whole thing had become a kind of drama. 

There was then nothing for it but for me to clack up onto the stage and make up my own welcome speech on the spot, which was enthusiastically received.  

*                      *                      *

It had been an intense and exhausting week: Tuesday and Wednesday there was the ISEFT Trainer Meeting, at Renfield-St. Stephen’s Centre here in Glasgow.  In attendance were 100 EFT trainers, institute heads and facilitators.  We spent a very fruitful two days exploring key issues in EFT training, with a particular focus on training in interpersonal processes such as empathy and work with interpersonal difficulties. The Tuesday evening social programme featured the now-traditional Trainer Dinner, which we held at the Scottish Piping Centre.

This was followed by the two-day main ISEFT conference, at the University of Strathclyde’s shiny new Technological Innovation Centre (TIC).  There were 235 attendees from throughout the world: the UK, Europe, North America, the Middle East, East Asia, Australia and South America.  This time we were able to offer three plenary sessions and five parallel tracks. 

At the end of Day 1 the attendees were treated to a civic drinks reception at Glasgow City Chambers (=City Hall) which faces onto George Square and is an ornate Victorian building featuring a marvellous marble staircase and a large reception hall with impressive murals depicting key episodes from the history of Glasgow.  The Deputy Lord Provost (=vice mayor) of Glasgow was there to give a welcome speech in which he charmed the conferees with classic Glaswegian humour and warmth.  

Both Trainer Meeting and ISEFT Main Conference were a great success, with presentations that were both highly relevant to practice and also cutting edge developments within EFT. Both trainer meeting and main conference were able to combine research, theory and practice in ways that felt useful and well-grounded empirically and theoretically. The experience was exciting and uplifting.  There has been a noticeable step change since the first ISEFT conference in Veldhoven four years ago, with promising new research appearing or in progress.  The overall effect was highly stimulating and inspiring, as we were told repeatedly by the attendees.
*                      *                      *

Finishing my belated welcome speech, we sat down to eat our starters, which the kitchen had kept warm for us.  Part of the Turkish EFT delegation was at our table, as well as part of the Strathclyde contingent. The atrium echoed with the voices of our EFT friends and colleagues from all over the world.  Between courses, I got up and wandered over to Les’s table, which provoked one of a series of picture-taking episodes. 

I took several groups of folks around to some of my favourite things in the museum: Dali’s Christ of St John of the Cross, the Scottish 20th century painters, the French impressionists.   Later, as the ceilidh band set up, Les and I had a wee ramble through an eclectic series of galleries (such as Scottish pre-history, armour & weapons).  We reflected on the strange, unpredictable paths that life can lead us into.  Then the band started up, and the dancing commenced. The earlier emotions of anxiety (what would go wrong?), sadness (at ending and too soon parting) and embarrassment (at being late and various minor gaffes) were gone, and in their place was pride (about the achievement), gratitude (at the good things that had taken place), hope (for the future of EFT), love (for a great group of good people whom I know, respect and care about). 

Onward to the next ISEFT conference: Chicago 2021!


Sunday, June 30, 2019

Free Shakespeare in the Park 2019: Pleasanton, California

Entry for 29 June 2019:

Shakespeare in the Park is one of my favourite outdoor summer attractions, perhaps less dramatic than 4th of July fireworks but ultimately much more fulfilling.  Years ago, probably in the 1980's, Diane and I went to a play in the park behind her parents' old house near Amador Valley Community Park in suburban Pleasanton. If memory serves, I think it was the Merry Wives of Windsor.  During our current month in California we've been aware of the signs of the season.  One of these is the Alameda County Fair, located right in Pleasanton: We didn't get to this this year; however, we did manage to their big fireworks display last night, almost a full week before the 4th of July.

I'd been wondering about Shakespeare in the park.  Do they still do it in Pleasanteon, I wondered to myself.  Then, yesterday morning I decided to retrace part of an old running route, along the Arroyo del Valle and through the park behind Diane's parents old house. And there, behind the aquatic center, was the unmistakable sight (site?) of an empty stage set up in anticipation of a play.  As I ran past, I spied a poster and deviated from my route just long enough to confirm that there was in fact a performance of Free Shakespeare in the Park this weekend.

So it was that we joined a couple hundred other people on the grass at the north end of the park this evening, the sun still burning on us at 6:40. There were all kinds of people, all different ages and ethnicities, on chairs, blankets and beach towels, eating, drinking and watching the play, the opening night of the current run of Free Shakespeare in the Park, a musical version of As You Like It. 

 Although we were sore from sitting on the ground for a couple hours and had a lot more trouble getting up afterwards than we did 30 years ago, we were delighted with the world premier performance of this version of the play (with original music by The Kilbanes). Most of Shakespeare's songs for the play were included, with new music and a lot of the action and Elizabethan language carried and in some cases updated in musical numbers.  Of course, the original Shakespearean language has its own music and is immensely clever, and there was a fair dollop of that also, but not too much for the diverse audience gathered there. 

I've seen this popular Shakespeare play before, of course, but never really connected with it. However, this version felt more vivid and timely, with the current themes of injustice, refugees and gender confusion. The acting and music (including 5-piece band) were really well done, and kept the whole thing lively, entertaining, but also unexpectedly moving at times.  I found myself tearing up several times, such as at the end of the first part, as the exiles in Arden Forest sang Blow, Blow, Thou Winter Wind.   Highly recommended!

The play, put on San Francisco Shakespeare Festival, will be in Pleasanton for the next three weekends before moving on to Cupertino.  For more information, go to:

Saturday, June 01, 2019

Belately Remembering John Haden, 1950-2011

Entry for 1 June 2019:

When I was in Lodi this past April, I ran into Tom Gundershaugh, a friend from school.  He was full of news, but one of the people he mentioned was my best friend in elementary school, John Haden, whom he said had died some years ago.  I felt surprised and a bit shocked, as if I had lost another part of me, in addition to my two best friends from high school, Philip Frey and Margaret Linstrom Weitzel. 

This morning, the day after my 69th birthday, I woke from a dream in which I had been talking to John.  I had not dreamed of him for years.  On waking I suddenly remembered, that today, the 1st of June, was his birthday.  It had always seemed special to me that our birthdays were only one day apart, and both at one end of a month or another.  Somehow my dreaming self – my internal image/memory of John -- had remembered this and was announcing this to me.

When I got back this afternoon from the last day of a very successful day of EFT training here in Lausanne, Switzerland, I talked to Diane and Kenneth on Zoom for a while.  Then my mind went back to John again.  Clearly, my dream was telling me to do something about John’s 69th birthday, falling a day after my own birthday. 

However, I didn’t even know what year he’d died.  (Tom had just said that it was several years ago.)  So I did a Google search and eventually was able to dig up first his one recording and two obituaries, one from The Oregonian, and the other from the Lodi News-Sentinel, the local newspaper for the town we both grew up in.  Today I am marking his passing by reprinting the longer of the two obituaries:

John David Haden, 1950 – 2011: John was born on June 1, 1950 in Marinette, WI and passed away July 4, 2011 in Portland, OR. John was a former resident of Lodi and 1968 graduate of Lodi High School. He is survived by his daughter, Deborah Haden, sister, Carol Arlin, nephews Sean Arlin and Jason Arlin, and niece, Rhonda Elliott. He was preceded in death by his parents, Bob and Beth Haden. John drove for Schwan's and he was a maintenance manager at West Hills Racquet Club in Beaverton, OR for 21 years. He was a member of the Sons of the American Revolution and Oregon Public Broadcasting. He played guitar for the former bay area band, Parish Hall. He was an avid PC gamer and adored his dog, Snappy. His family invites you to a celebration of his life on July 20, 2011 at 11:00a.m. at the Grace Presbyterian Church, 10 N. Mills, Lodi, CA. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Cancer Society.
Published in Lodi News-Sentinel from July 13 to July 20, 2011

John and I met when my family moved across town to Mariposa Way.  I lived about block away from him, at least in 10-year-old boy distance (which involved hopping over the neighbor’s back fence and sneaking down their driveway without be caught).  John was always laid back and friendly, and his house was quiet compared to the noisy chaos of mine.  We played with HO scale toy soldiers and model airplanes.  He introduced me to pop music; I remember that he really liked the Beau Brummels.  We had lots of really interesting 10-year-old boy conversations.  Once I stayed overnight and got sick to my stomach after eating cauliflower.  (I still can’t stand cauliflower…)

After we went to junior high we sort of drifted apart but still kept in touch.  John got into music; I got into more academic things. His parents ran the main jewellery store on School Street; sometimes I’d drop by and say hi to him; when Diane and I got married we had his dad do Diane’s wedding ring for us.  Somewhere along the line he had some trouble with drugs; I was worried about him so once when I was home from university we arranged to catch up with each other, which was nice.  I went to grad school and then moved to Toledo, Ohio. He moved to Oregon.  In 1998 I ran into him at our 30th high school reunion, and we had a really nice visit and even went and saw his family’s old house. That was the last time I saw him.

For me, John was my cool friend; the person who was up on interesting things and wasn’t anxious and uncool like I was.  I think that somehow everyone needs a friend like that.  I know that I certainly did.  I like to think that at least a bit of his coolness rubbed off on me, but perhaps I’m flattering myself.

It turns out the John was the bass player with a “nearly famous” Northern California R&B trio with the unlikely name of Parish Hall (eponymously named “Parish Hall”); their one album was released in 1970 on Fantasy Records (the same label Creedence Clearwater Revival recorded with). I know that I talked to him around that time, but I guess he was too modest to mention it…
So I bought a copy of the album and listened to it for the first time tonight; I loved it. There is a page devoted to Parish Hall at:
Buried on this page are several comments about John’s passing, and a link to his version of Bob Dylan’s "Knocking on Heaven's Door", which appropriately was played at his memorial service in Lodi, in 2011, including the added verse he wrote for it. It is a splendid musical epitaph:

 Left to right: John Haden, Steve Adams, Gary Wagner (I'm sure about John but not the other two)

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Marking the Thirtieth Anniversary of the Murray Creek Labyrinth

Entry for 4 November 2018:
On this day in 1988, the Murray Creek Labyrinth was constructed by Bob & Ann Elliott and their friends.  Inspired by a visit to Glastonbury Tor, my parents and their friends built a seven-circuit Cretan labyrinth on their property in the Murray Creek Valley in the Sierra Nevada foothills outside San Andreas, California.

In 2002, Ann constructed a website about this labyrinth, which is still online (thanks to my sister anna), the home page for which can be accessed at:  

A pictorial account for the building of the labyrinth can be found on this website, at:

Our family has long been fascinated by labyrinths, and to this day, Diane and I regularly stop for any labyrinths we happen to encounter. Last April, walked a Chartres-design labyrinth in the pouring rain when I came upon it in a courtyard in a courtyard in the Munich Ratskeller or Town-Hall.  On another occasion, we found one near Dunure castle on the Scottish coast between Ayr and Culzean Castle; I wrote about this in an earlier entry on this blog:

Over the years, labyrinths have been a powerful personal symbol for me, and I’ve written a number of poems about them.  The most developed of these is “Labyrinth Poem”, written when I was 19; I’ve included it in an accompanying blog entry:  

Returning to the Murray Creek Labyrinth, probably the most detailed account of the Murray Creek Labyrinth that I’ve written can be found in this blog in an entry I wrote in 2006, the year we moved to Scotland:

Over the years, the labyrinth has been a focus for and a symbol for the creative energy my parents gathered with the community of like-minded folks in the Murray Creek Valley.  Naturally, this energy has resonated deeply with me in ways that then emerged in poetry. Here is a link to the poem I wrote for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary in 1997:  

Along the same line, here is a link to the poem I wrote in 2009 for Ann’s 80th birthday.  It references the Murray Creek Labyrinth and has a couple of photos, including one of her walking it with the help of her hiking poles:

And here’s a series of haiku and little poems I wrote to commemorate visits to the Murray Creek Labyrinth at different times of year:

December 2008:
Labyrinth waits, silent
Wet stones settling into earth,
Path littered with oak leaves.

August 2009: The one, from, begins with a visit to the labyrinth:
Cool morning to a late summer day;
we put our pails down,
walk the labyrinth first.

This labyrinth has a bridge:
we return there, descending
from the rough planks to the dry creek bed.


August 2010:
Leave all that behind
Labyrinth knows what matters
Arrive at center.

July 2011, after the stones were re-set:
Labyrinth renewed:
buried stones dug up, re-placed,
gleaming in the sun.

2012, at the end of the year Ann died:
December labyrinth:
Winding path sprinkled
    with oak leaves;
We walk the circle again.

December 2013:
We light the fires, check the wireless network,
Walk your labyrinth in the fading light,
Raise and right the creek-misplaced bridge.

Although my parents have both now passed and the Murray Creek Valley seems empty without them, I try to visit as often as I can and to walk the labyrinth there.  Severe flooding two winters ago wiped out the main access to it across the Murray Creek, so we now need to walk down to the neighbors and cross there (with their permission).  Sadly, the stones are badly in need of re-setting, which needs to be done every 10 or so years. However, it’s still easy to make out and to walk, and doing so re-connects me to my parents, to the earth, and to the overall path of my life.

I the end, I think that the spirit of the Murray Creek Labyrinth is best captured by the words of the famous Shaker hymn, “Simple Gifts,” written by Joseph Brackett:

Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free
'Tis a gift to come down where I ought to be
And when I am in the place just right
I will be in the valley of love and delight

When true simplicity is gained
To bow and to bend I will not be ashamed
To turn, to turn will be my delight
'Til by turning, turning, I come 'round right.

Labyrinth Poem

Entry for 4 November 2018:

Note: To mark the 30th anniversary of the construction of the Murray Creek Labyrinth, I’m reprinting this poem I wrote this originally for a humanistic psychology class at UC Santa Cruz in 1970 when I was 19 years old.  In 2000 I revised it for a self-published collection of my poems.  The poem mixes familiar scenes around the UCSC campus with Greek mythology and Joseph Campbell’s archetypal “Hero of a Thousand Faces.” Psychologically, this was an attempt to capture the moment in which I began to gather the courage to turn back to face my mortality, and in so doing began to become an adult, a process I am still working on almost 50 years later.

             1. Prologue

When I am dead, remember me,
as one who walked, often quickly,
in deep shadow under tall redwoods,
on too-bright March mornings.

Please remember this, at least:
That I knew that I was lost and afraid,
but refused to give up, and would not take
the escape of doing things the easy way,
I would not follow a childlike faith,
at simple altars in sun-bright places.

Remember me, thus, as a person
who said what he thought was true and necessary,
and did not regard the difficulty or the pain.
And thus he walked awhile in shadow,
and found some small good, and was gone.

            2. Beginnings

Who now knows the hour or the way
by which we came into this maze, our life?

Others have recalled for me my birth:
Into this cave of night I came;
and grew where fires threw their glare,
throbbing, at the roof of my small world.

These first confusions of shape, color, and words,
describe the orders of my first and present worlds.

But they are hardly the first:
Before my birth was,
I slept a shoreless fetal sleep,
wandering in an inner sea.
Who knows how that sleep began?

            3. The Labyrinth of Daily Perception

Waking, I rise and creep to the window.
Like a cautious priest I part the curtains;
a thousand images leap through the glass:

Dawn is fighting to free herself
from the tangled, clutching
branches of distant trees;
her blood has run across the sky,
and stands in pools now.

A shivering oak:
Unsteady silhouette of leaves
cuts sharp and deep into the sill.

I go outside and find:
Behind a sea of green-feathered spear tips,
an ocean swells.

And the morning moon, past full
is now waning, dying,
as the sun rises to overtake it.
Cloud-shrouded, westering,
it is caught by a swell of redwoods
like billowing nets on the tide.

The air is chill,
an asthmatic motorcycle passes,
gasps up the hill.

This place of towers and trees bemuses.
Climbing up the hill,
I am confused by faces, found in the crowd,
then lost behind.

Superreal, warning off intrusion,
uncompleted buildings deflect my glance.
Men leave their noise, pause from their work,
constructing this maze or that mountain,
to glare me by.

I stop at last beneath great cumuli,
whose movement seems to shove the sky itself.
I cannot stay, and go below to read;
but there instead I wander underground,
with furtive looks, through rows of crying books.

Cold walls oppress, drive me to the surface,
to find the world is walled
by clouds and trees,
by dark wet roads
and white stucco towers,
by sights and sounds that lose me in their maze.

At last, I am exhausted,
from these thousand leaping images
My chosen path is now an aimless wandering,
and walking seems
a way of standing still
amid the passing show of place and face.

At dusk a friend comes by my room to talk,
but in the middle of his speech,
the words go strange:
He speaks to me as if he were King Minos,
come to greet the fourteen youths
Athens’ black-sailed ship has brought to Crete. 

Then he leads me into the Labyrinth
and leaves me in the dark.
In silence, sitting in my empty room,
I feel the images fleeing, demons,
drawn through the window to the night outside;
and in their place, opening, a great space;
the minotaur eyes of the staring void.

            4. Dreaming of Escape

This is how it seemed to me,
that King Minos rules the Labyrinth
but the Minotaur holds the void.
In the silence of the center I knew he sat, and waited
for me to come to him.

There is, I had heard, some secret way,
a path that leads to true birth from the womb-maze.

And I had listened to those who claimed:
“The Labyrinth?  A nautilus shell
describes its form, and all who know
can tell the way the exit lies,
for the passage grows ever wider.”

False hope, I judged.
For who knows where shell enclosure ends
and if free sky, when reached,
is not more shell,
bright, extended into heaven?

So I continued to seek my own way out,
but many were the blank walls and circular reasonings
that trapped my speculations and attempts.
First my physics, then my metaphysics
did not set me free, and, in fleeing from the center,
all I found was more confusion.

And I failed even to elude the void.
From the center, it reached out at me;
when it passed, its cold touch brushed me,
it stopped me from building, quickly crumbling
all my contributions and solutions
reducing them to twistings of the Labyrinth.

For at the center of this life, my death
sits, waiting, for me to come;
he will have me anyway,
whether I will it, or not.
And at my dying, the rats will carry
my bones to him, and he will have
my marrow.

            5. Epilogue

Into this cave of night I came;
and grew where fires threw their glare,
throbbing, at the roof of my small world.

I tire of the fears and fantasies of youth,
that have kept me at the edge of life!
And so I take as my archetype,
Theseus, who took another’s place
to penetrate the maze.
And I will seek the center of the world,
whether it be made of emptiness or connection,
terror, resignation or love,
and I, too, will try to be a hero.

-Robert Elliott (February-March 1970/December 2000)