Three Brief EFT Myths for Les Greenberg (for His 80th Birthday)

[New blog entry: three poems in honor of Les Greenberg, on his 80th birthday, using science fiction and fantasy themes to imagine a set of myths about the origins of EFT but told to children (like my or Les' grandkids). The slightly crazy, unruly writing style was inspired by the children's books of beloved Canadian children's book author Robert Munsch. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did writing them!]

Preface

 

We met when we were barely out of childhood

Heads and hearts full of hopes and dreams

To change the world of psychotherapy

And psychotherapy research,

Which we did

 

Now that we are old,

We might as well make some myths.

For some reason,

These have come out as children’s stories.

 

 

Myth Number 1:  Don’t Kill the Dragon

 

You didn’t kill the dragon.

Afterall, the dragon

Is sacred to the Goddess.

Instead, you listened to her story.

(She was a very old dragon,

Even older than we are

And had a lot of story to tell.)

 

Surprised and pleased

By your empathy and compassion,

The dragon didn’t eat you.

Instead, she opened the place in her chest

Where you didn’t stab her

With your non-existent sword,

And invited you to taste

The thick, rich blood that oozed out.

 

Yes, I know, that’s kind of gross!

But really it was a great honour,

And after all, it was her core pain.

And you were brave and curious enough to try.

 

And then, just like that other hero

In that great big singing story by that German guy,

Suddenly you could understand

Not just what the birds were saying,

But also all the animals.

 

And you could talk to them too,

Because you had used your emotion empathy

Science magic to learn

The beating heart language

Of the birds and animals,

Which is after all the language of emotion.

 

But my favourite part of this story is this:

Then you wrote a bunch of books

And taught a bunch of classes

Where you worked with the rest us

To find and forge the emotion empathy

Science magic, which is very cool!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Myth Number 2:  The Temptation

 

At some point, the science wizard power bad guys

Began to get worried.

So they took you

And your science witch teacher Laura

Up to the top of a tall tower.

 

They showed you the power cities of the world,

And told you,

“We’ll let you be the boss of all this,

If you just come over

To the dark side of the Process

(that’s the magic of one-thing-after-another),

If you just say you believe in our kind of

Science wizard power magic,

Named CBT.”

 

Needless to say,

You were too stubborn to give in.

And for this we are all very grateful,

Because here we are today,

Paper bag princesses all,

(Just like in the book by Robert Munsch)

Doing three things:

 First, instead of eating CBT hamburgers

We live on honey and manna,

Which is kind of like baklava

But is really dried bug juice sap:

It really isn’t as bad as it sounds;

Plus it’s good for us

And is environmentally friendly.

 

Second, we are rejecting patriarchy!

(Which means power guys running everything

And telling women and children

And other folks what to do).

We don’t like this! Yay us!

 

Third, best of all,

We are talking with the beast and the bird

Parts of each other

Using emotion empathy science magic,

…And maybe a little help from

The Merlin apps on our phones?

 

 

Myth Number 3:  Gallifrey

 

This myth might be more for grown-ups;

It is full of Dr. Who references.

 

Les, we know you couldn’t stay in South Africa,

Any more than the Doctor could stay in Gallifrey.

Canada was and is your promised land.

 

You might, or might not, be a Time Lord,

But there is the matter of

Your two hearts:

 

One heart beats even now for Brenda,

Lost for many years, but still alive in you.

 

TARDIS BBC Television Centre; source: Babbel1996 

 

We share the other heart with Shelley.

Fortunately, like the TARDIS,

Your heart is bigger on the inside,

And there is plenty of room here

In its chambers:

Over your 80 years,

You have taken us all,

Your travelling companions,

On too many adventures to name.

 

With you we have found and forged

The emotion empathy science magic

Needed to cross time and space

Regenerating through

Nebulas of vague feelings

And supernova secondary

Chain reaction emotions

To cosmic background stuckness

And the blackest holes of despair.

 

There, fragile, broken, seemingly

Alone in the universe,

At the last moment we suddenly

Emerge through the wormhole,

Discover we are not alone,

And reach our hearts’ desire.

 

                        -Robert Elliott, September 2025

 

 

Book Launch Webinar on 2nd edition of Learning Emotion-Focused Therapy

We are doing a book launch webinar to mark the release of the long-awaited second edition of Elliott, Watson, Goldman & Greenberg (2015), Learning Emotion Focused Therapy: A Comprehensive Guide.  The webinar, sponsored by APA, will take place this coming Tuesday, Sep 9, 2025 at 11:00 AM Pacific Time/2:00 PM Easter Time/ 7:00 PM UK Time.  All co-authors will be there to talk about the second edition and to answer questions. 

 Here is a link to a brief description of the book and an online registration form for the event, which is free; https://apa-org.zoom.us/webinar/register/2317556986438/WN_S2xbB7xxRj29TDGUfN4G9Q#/registration 

 For more information, go to:

American Psychological Association (publisher): 

https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/learning-emotion-focused-therapy-second-edition 

Amazon USA: 

https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Emotion-Focused-Therapy-Comprehensive-Guide/dp/143383832X/ref=sr_1_4?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.c9XrLn-lb5m2V83mASTsnywylg3GBxDFoeR26h5vkR325DJx8PS6zqBrslE7YHbsOX9TIrlzvFa3rAmhM5jYKk4qWoQ_ANrBfg6AHOsIwY8eUijBubSNoStgtXSB0Y0aDGm-5l-XVbwfatje4_G82xDDgOV9jwpHrgzTaEnlpj-m_ElIUq5fZhtSiDk3zR2lmME4pkfA-VlPwTfkohnM1kT6_KA9DhAJrx91D5uaO0T6rrJLYtk2PeUOVnpDYb8LwkHqzIuR3Oy9-IqUfxeD_-K_ambw9PEE5WtDGkLfCmM.3BgtcifOjjWEdYPeoc3OoghEz7Vrjf-GawlHnNyRshE&dib_tag=se&keywords=emotion+focused+therapy&qid=1757095776&s=books&sr=1-4

Amazon UK:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Learning-Emotion-Focused-Therapy-Comprehensive-Guide/dp/143383832X 

Tibetan Prayer Chimes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Trainers’ Tools

 

I’ve long believed that any large EFT training

Is in need of some way of getting

People’s attention at beginnings and breaks.

 

Twenty years ago, I saw

My favorite Focusing trainer using

A Tibetan singing bowl to start a session.

 

I asked for one for my birthday,

Settling for an inexpensive model

Tuned to middle C.

 

This bowl served me well

But sounded more the dinner bell

My mother used to call

Her wayward children home.

 

This led a generous EFT colleague

To buy me a more elegant little one

With a penetrating, bell-like tone.

 

A musical instrument, it was,

But also a bit heavy

And prone to being knocked out of true

In my luggage.

 

Another EFT trainer, since passed away,

Had the solution to this problem:

A little pair of shimmering

Tibetan prayer chimes,

Tethered together by a rough bit of rope.

 

I took these two trainers’ toys

To many trainings,

And they became a fixture

At EFT conferences,

 

Helping sessions run closer to on-time,

Without yelling or shouting,

And flashing former participants back

To earlier trainings

They had done with me.

 

2  Lost Chimes

 

For my most recent trip, I packed light,

Took only my set of chimes

And used them well

For the training I ran

In Switzerland.

 

After a stop in Poland,

I arrived in Romania.

First day, EFT trainer meeting:

Loud buzz of excitement.

 

At this point, I usually pull out my chimes,

To mark the start,

To penetrate the din.

 

But when and where did I see them last?

I went through my backpack: nothing.

Upstairs, I rummaged through my suitcase:

Not there.

 

I repeated the search of backpack,

Slowly and carefully.

But they had pulled a disappearing act.

 

What happened to them?, I wondered.

Did I leave them in the training center

Or my hotel in Switzerland?, in Poland?

I grieved them. Trainer meeting and conference

Went on, noisily, behind schedule, without them.

 

 

3 What Happened Next

 

Conference ends. Singly and in small groups

People go, leaving the usual

Post-conference emptiness.

 

At the airport,

Security pulls my overstuffed,

Black backpack aside.

They take out many things,

Putting them Into another tray,

Checking, checking:

 

Phones, wallet, hard-drive,

A little metal tin of cocoa nibs,

A suspicious small notebook from Canada,

Which they bang repeatedly on the table.

 

Clearly checking for something,

They put my bag through the scanner again,

But the mystery remains:

 

Like digging deeper into a magician’s hat

(Are all EFT trainers magic workers?)

They pull still more things out of the bag:

 

Shirt, keys, masks, food;

They heft the large Granny Smith

breakfast-apple-for-the-teacher

Fervently offered to me

By an Asian EFTer.

 

Until, at last, from the darkest recesses

Of an outer pocket, unexpectedly

And to everyone’s surprise and relief,

They pull the Tibetan prayer chimes,

That so perplexed and worried them.

 

We all laugh.

“Thank you for finding them!” I exclaim,

They hand me the pile of backpack and trays.

 

No time to explain the back story

Which has taken me many hours

And thousands of miles to lay out here.

 

I go on my way,

Still laughing and shaking my head,

Full of wonder and joy

For all the small things

That make our lives magical and full.

 

                                    -5 July 2025, enroute from Bucharest to San Francisco

 

 

 

ISEFT 2019 Glasgow

 Entry for 31 August

It was a rainy Friday night in Glasgow.  After the conference ended we said our good-byes and hurried home to get changed for the conference dinner.  It had been several years since I last wore my kilt, so it took me a while to sort out all the different bits; as a result we didn’t call the taxi until quarter to seven.  Bad idea!  It took almost exactly 45 minutes for the taxi to arrive.  Lorna had warned the staff at the Kelvingrove Museum that I was running late, so they were waiting for us just inside the backdoor to the place as we arrived.  We rushed in and upstairs, my not-fully-broken-in ghillie brogues clacking on the stone flagging.  I felt rather foolish and embarrassed for being so late to arrive at what was in effect my own party, and also for having forgotten an essential fact about taxi travel in Glasgow in busy Friday nights.  Lorna met us on the stairs, to direct us to our table.  Fortunately, she had held down the fort in my absence, done a welcome speech, and told the venue to start the dinner service.

The large atrium of the Kelvingrove Museum was full of tables, and the tables were full of most of the attendees of the Third Conference of the International Society for Emotion-Focused Therapy (ISEFT), finishing off their starter courses. Suddenly the room erupted in cheers.  It was overwhelming.  It turned out later that many of them had somehow gotten the impression that I had taken ill, so the whole thing had become a kind of drama. 

There was then nothing for it but for me to clack up onto the stage and make up my own welcome speech on the spot, which was enthusiastically received.  

*                      *                      *

It had been an intense and exhausting week: Tuesday and Wednesday there was the ISEFT Trainer Meeting, at Renfield-St. Stephen’s Centre here in Glasgow.  In attendance were 100 EFT trainers, institute heads and facilitators.  We spent a very fruitful two days exploring key issues in EFT training, with a particular focus on training in interpersonal processes such as empathy and work with interpersonal difficulties. The Tuesday evening social programme featured the now-traditional Trainer Dinner, which we held at the Scottish Piping Centre.

This was followed by the two-day main ISEFT conference, at the University of Strathclyde’s shiny new Technological Innovation Centre (TIC).  There were 235 attendees from throughout the world: the UK, Europe, North America, the Middle East, East Asia, Australia and South America.  This time we were able to offer three plenary sessions and five parallel tracks. 

At the end of Day 1 the attendees were treated to a civic drinks reception at Glasgow City Chambers (=City Hall) which faces onto George Square and is an ornate Victorian building featuring a marvellous marble staircase and a large reception hall with impressive murals depicting key episodes from the history of Glasgow.  The Deputy Lord Provost (=vice mayor) of Glasgow was there to give a welcome speech in which he charmed the conferees with classic Glaswegian humour and warmth.  

Both Trainer Meeting and ISEFT Main Conference were a great success, with presentations that were both highly relevant to practice and also cutting edge developments within EFT. Both trainer meeting and main conference were able to combine research, theory and practice in ways that felt useful and well-grounded empirically and theoretically. The experience was exciting and uplifting.  There has been a noticeable step change since the first ISEFT conference in Veldhoven four years ago, with promising new research appearing or in progress.  The overall effect was highly stimulating and inspiring, as we were told repeatedly by the attendees.

*                      *                      *

Finishing my belated welcome speech, we sat down to eat our starters, which the kitchen had kept warm for us.  Part of the Turkish EFT delegation was at our table, as well as part of the Strathclyde contingent. The atrium echoed with the voices of our EFT friends and colleagues from all over the world.  Between courses, I got up and wandered over to Les’s table, which provoked one of a series of picture-taking episodes. 

I took several groups of folks around to some of my favourite things in the museum: Dali’s Christ of St John of the Cross, the Scottish 20^th century painters, the French impressionists.   Later, as the ceilidh band set up, Les and I had a wee ramble through an eclectic series of galleries (such as Scottish pre-history, armour & weapons).  We reflected on the strange, unpredictable paths that life can lead us into.  Then the band started up, and the dancing commenced. The earlier emotions of anxiety (what would go wrong?), sadness (at ending and too soon parting) and embarrassment (at being late and various minor gaffes) were gone, and in their place was pride (about the achievement), gratitude (at the good things that had taken place), hope (for the future of EFT), love (for a great group of good people whom I know, respect and care about). 

Onward to the next ISEFT conference: Chicago 2021!

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