Entry for 1 June 2019:
When I was in Lodi this past April, I ran into Tom
Gundershaugh, a friend from school. He
was full of news, but one of the people he mentioned was my best friend in
elementary school, John Haden, whom he said had died some years ago. I felt surprised and a bit shocked, as if I
had lost another part of me, in addition to my two best friends from high
school, Philip Frey and Margaret Linstrom Weitzel.
This morning, the day after my 69th birthday, I
woke from a dream in which I had been talking to John. I had not dreamed of him for years. On waking I suddenly remembered, that today,
the 1st of June, was his birthday.
It had always seemed special to me that our birthdays were only one day
apart, and both at one end of a month or another. Somehow my dreaming self – my internal image/memory
of John -- had remembered this and was announcing this to me.
When I got back this afternoon from the last day of a very
successful day of EFT training here in Lausanne, Switzerland, I talked to Diane
and Kenneth on Zoom for a while. Then my
mind went back to John again. Clearly,
my dream was telling me to do something about John’s 69th birthday,
falling a day after my own birthday.
However, I didn’t even know what year he’d died. (Tom had just said that it was several years
ago.) So I did a Google search and
eventually was able to dig up first his one recording and two obituaries, one
from The Oregonian, and the other
from the Lodi News-Sentinel, the
local newspaper for the town we both grew up in. Today I am marking his passing by reprinting
the longer of the two obituaries:
John David Haden, 1950 – 2011:
John was born on June 1, 1950 in Marinette, WI and passed away July 4, 2011 in
Portland, OR. John was a former resident of Lodi and 1968 graduate of Lodi High
School. He is survived by his daughter, Deborah Haden, sister, Carol Arlin,
nephews Sean Arlin and Jason Arlin, and niece, Rhonda Elliott. He was preceded
in death by his parents, Bob and Beth Haden. John drove for Schwan's and he was
a maintenance manager at West Hills Racquet Club in Beaverton, OR for 21 years.
He was a member of the Sons of the American Revolution and Oregon Public
Broadcasting. He played guitar for the former bay area band, Parish Hall. He
was an avid PC gamer and adored his dog, Snappy. His family invites you to a
celebration of his life on July 20, 2011 at 11:00a.m. at the Grace Presbyterian
Church, 10 N. Mills, Lodi, CA. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the
American Cancer Society.
Published in Lodi News-Sentinel
from July 13 to July 20, 2011
John and I met when my family moved across town to Mariposa
Way. I lived about block away from him,
at least in 10-year-old boy distance (which involved hopping over the neighbor’s
back fence and sneaking down their driveway without be caught). John was always laid back and friendly, and
his house was quiet compared to the noisy chaos of mine. We played with HO scale toy soldiers and model
airplanes. He introduced me to pop
music; I remember that he really liked the Beau Brummels. We had lots of really interesting 10-year-old
boy conversations. Once I stayed overnight
and got sick to my stomach after eating cauliflower. (I still can’t stand cauliflower…)
After we went to junior high we sort of drifted apart but
still kept in touch. John got into music;
I got into more academic things. His parents ran the main jewellery store on
School Street; sometimes I’d drop by and say hi to him; when Diane and I got married
we had his dad do Diane’s wedding ring for us.
Somewhere along the line he had some trouble with drugs; I was worried
about him so once when I was home from university we arranged to catch up with
each other, which was nice. I went to
grad school and then moved to Toledo, Ohio. He moved to Oregon. In 1998 I ran into him at our 30th
high school reunion, and we had a really nice visit and even went and saw his
family’s old house. That was the last time I saw him.
For me, John was my cool friend; the person who was up on
interesting things and wasn’t anxious and uncool like I was. I think that somehow everyone needs a friend
like that. I know that I certainly did. I like to think that at least a bit of his coolness
rubbed off on me, but perhaps I’m flattering myself.
It turns out the John was the bass player with a “nearly famous” Northern
California R&B trio with the unlikely name of Parish Hall (eponymously named “Parish Hall”); their one album was released in 1970 on Fantasy Records (the same label Creedence
Clearwater Revival recorded with). I know that
I talked to him around that time, but I guess he was too modest to mention it…
So I bought a copy of the album and listened to it for the first time tonight;
I loved it. There is a page devoted to Parish Hall at:
https://rockasteria.blogspot.com/2011/02/parish-hall-parish-hall-1970-excellent.html
Buried on this page are several comments about John’s
passing, and a link to his version of Bob Dylan’s "Knocking on Heaven's
Door", which appropriately was played at his memorial service in Lodi, in 2011,
including the added verse he wrote for it. It is a splendid musical epitaph: http://www.pacair.com/RHD/Knockin%27%20on%20Heaven%27s%20Door_Mix%202.mp3
Left to right: John Haden, Steve Adams, Gary Wagner (I'm sure about John but not the other two)
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